Before Death
by malaynamonkey2004
Summary: Tessa wants Will to stay with her forever. He agrees but refuses to listen to the one solution that can be found. And with a baby on the way, Tessa is desperate to try anything even if Will won't help her.
1. Chapter 1

**Here is a new story. I know, I have a TON on my plate but this could NOT wait. I love TID so much and I had a good idea. Well, an idea. Of sorts.**

 **Chapter One**

"I can't let you die," Tessa sobbed, holding Will's face in her hands.

"But we know that one day it is going to happen. Tess, I love you," Will said. He smiled at her, but she continued to sob. "Why are we even talking about this? It's not going to happen for another sixty or seventy years or so. Maybe even more. Look, I'm twenty-one, you're nineteen. You look sixteen but you _are_ nineteen years old."

"For how long?" Tessa asked bitterly. "How long can this go on? I can't bear to lose you! I love you too much."

"And I you. Only, I won't _ever_ lose you and you won't ever lose me," Will said comfortingly.

"But I will. One day, you'll be gone and I'll still be here, looking sixteen at a hundred."

"No, shhh. There must be a way for us to be together. Forever. But for now, go to sleep, Tess. Please do that for me," Will implored, his blue eyes shining.

Tessa sighed and lay into Will's embrace on the bed, still crying, tears escaping. She finally fell asleep, oblivious to Will's sigh and tears that came soon after his wife had drifted off to sleep.

The next morning, Tessa awoke in Will's arms. Last night's conversation was forgotten in Tessa's mind, though faint traces of it still lingered. She looked lovingly at Will's face, who seemed to sense her staring and awakened.

"Tess." He kissed her good morning.

Tessa and Will went about their daily morning routines, showering, cooking breakfast, eating. Tessa felt strange, but it was probably because of the baby. She had found out a few months ago that she was pregnant and the baby bump was starting to show. Tessa was excited but she was sure that the pregnancy was what had been the cause of last night's worries and tears. It was to be a baby girl and Will could hardly wait.

"Heading to work. Take care of yourself," Will said, meaning he was going to go to the Institute and read other people's novels while subconsciously editing them to be published one day.

Tessa waved Will goodbye and sat down on the sofa. She picked up _A Tale of Two Cities_ and started to read. She laughed while the characters laughed and cried while they cried. She spent the whole day reading the book. It was Will's copy and she loved it just as much as he did.

Then she set the book down after finishing it and looked out into space. All at once, last night's thoughts came barrelling through her mind.

Will. His death was inevitable and she would be left alone over time, try as they might to avoid it. With her baby girl, Lea. Lea Herondale. How pretty her name would be.

Will was optimistic about all of this. But Tessa knew that he was worried too. Lines were starting to show on his forehead from where he kept furrowing his brow while looking for a solution deep into the night.

But there was only one answer. And both Will and Tessa knew it.

Shorten Tessa's life.

Will was adamant against it but Tessa wanted it. Will would fight back for forever but Tessa knew that in the end, she would always choose to stay with Will forever, including after death.

Of course, they could always try to make Will immortal but that required black magic that didn't exist in the Shadowhunter world for the better. If they tried it, they would be punished and most likely separated forever.

So there was only one solution. And for the sake of Will, Lea, and everyone else who cared about them, Tessa was going to go through with it.

Whether Will knew it or not.

 **So yeah! Don't worry, it gets a LOT better. I'm really bad at writing beginning chapters. I did have a much longer version but it got deleted and I am really angry right now. Please review!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks to my readers and reviewer!**

CHAPTER TWO

Tessa knocked on the door quickly and sharply. Inside, she heard footsteps and some groans, as well as a piteous meow from a cat. Finally, the door opened and Magnus's face peered out. When he saw Tessa, he sighed but let her in.

Magnus looked at Tessa after seating her and bringing her some tea. His feline eyes were even narrower as he surveyed Tessa's state. After a little while, he spoke.

"Tessa Gray. What favor have you come to ask of me today?" he asked solemnly.

Tessa ducked her head. "I have to come to ask if there are any spells for something."

"Well, what is it?" Magnus asked when Tessa did not continue.

"I want to shorten my life."

There was a silence and then Magnus exploded.

"Tessa! What are you talking about? SHORTEN YOUR LIFE? Why would you ever do such a thing? Immortality is fundamental. It's important. For people like us. Sure, it may be a terrible curse at some times, but you should never take away a _gift_ that has been given you. Why would you want to do such a thing?" Magnus asked, his eyes sparkling and his face glowing with anger.

"I want to be with Will. Forever. After death and after life. During life. I want to grow old. I want to become a grandmother. And actually _look_ like one. I want to be _human_ ," Tessa said shortly.

"But shortening your life? How is that any solution?" Magnus asked.

"It'll allow me to die someday. And then I can live on after life with Will forever. And I need this to be done before Lea is born."

"And why is that?"

"So she doesn't become half-immortal. I wouldn't want to bestow such a terrible curse on my poor baby girl."

"How far into the pregnancy are you?" Magnus asked.

"About four months, why?"

"Then this _can_ be done. Any later than four or five months would kill the baby. But before you say anything or start rejoicing for something so _terrible_ , I want to say something of my own first. Before you ask me, I will _not_ be the one to bestow the magic upon you."

"What? Magnus, you must be the one. Any other would not understand!" Tessa exclaimed. "And you're the only one that I can trust."

"But what would Will say? Does he even know of your decision? Or this conversation?" Tessa responded with silence and Magnus shook his head. "There you have it. I will not go around, breaking Will Herondale's faith in me for such an _evil_ thing. Tessa, you were born this way, so be it. And you must learn to live with it."

"Forever, Magnus? No one should have to live with a curse forever and not be able to escape it."

"Tessa, Tessa, Tessa. Tell you what. I will strike a bargain with you," said Magnus, his face wrinkling as he thought.

Tessa took up his offer eagerly. "Very well, what is it?"

"Talk this over with Will. Do it tonight before it is too late. If he agrees, have him come with you and be present for the ceremony where I shall perform the spells. _If_ I perform the spells."

"Magnus, you can't. He'll never agree to this," Tessa exclaimed.

"And that is why I need him to. If he does, then I'll do it. But mind you, you have only a few weeks before it will be too late. That baby will die if it is any longer."

"Very well. I'll talk to Will," said Tessa resignedly.

"You do that. Then, and only then, will I perform the magic," said Magnus gravely.

 **Yeah, so… that was a weird chapter but I promise it will get better.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks to all my reviewers and readers!**

Tessa gingerly opened the door of her home. She walked in and closed the door behind her, making sure to lock it. She went over to the kitchen and made a kettle of tea. As she waited for it to cool down, she contemplated how she was going to tell Will.

 _Will, darling, I have to tell you something. It's important. Might you sit down?_

No, that sounded so _stupid_. And he would just get all worried and jump to conclusions and that was not what Tessa wanted.

 _Will, we need to talk. No, nothing is wrong. I'm fine and the baby is fine. But this is important._

Hmm, that sounded okay…

But what to say afterward?

Before Tessa could think any further, the front door was unlocked and Will came in, panting. "Tessa, dear, can you make some tea or something? I'm exhausted and that fool of a Mr. Penhallow told me that he was thinking of laying me off!"

Not the time to talk. Tessa ran and fetched Will's jacket and hat and he sat down as she went to get him a cup of tea. When they were all settled, Tessa cleared her throat.

"Tessa, darling, are you okay?" Will asked.

"Yes, fine."

"Lea?"

"No, she's fine too."

"When was your last appointment with the doctor? Should we go get a check up or something?" Will asked, sitting up suddenly.

"No, no, my last appointment was last week," reminded Tessa gently.

"Tessa, come here. You're so far away," said Will drowsily. Tessa moved to sit on the sofa with Will. He kissed her gently and "checked" on the baby.

"Will, we need to talk," said Tessa.

"Can't this wait until the morning, Tess?" asked Will sleepily.

"It's kind of important," she added on before he could fall asleep, an edge to her voice.

Will sat up, hearing that edge. "Why? What's happened?"

"Nothing, nothing," said Tessa. What had happened to that speech? "I just was thinking about last night's conversation."

"What about it? Oh, that one. Tessa, honey, don't worry about it," said Will, moving to put his arms around her.

"But I _am_ , Will. I _am_ and there's nothing you can say to make me stop. Except…" Tessa trailed off.

"Except what?" asked Will.

"You let me shorten my life." The words sounded so cold and cruel that Tessa could hardly believe she could it say it with such ease.

"Tessa, we've talked about this. I won't allow you to do such a thing! And besides, who would willingly shorten your life?"

"Magnus Bane would. But only if you agree."

"Magnus Bane? The warlock? You're bluffing. And I don't agree, Tess. We knew this was going to be like this when we got married," said Will.

"Magnus _did_ say that he would if you agreed. That was his only price," said Tessa adamantly.

"I don't agree, Tessa. I don't. What kind of a man would let his wife shorten her life? Why can't we just lengthen mine? Or leave it alone and use the time we've got?"

"The time _you've_ got, Will. For I've got forever and ever and ever and I don't _want_ forever without you."

"Tess, you're not seeing reason."

"No, _you're_ not. Can you imagine how it must feel in a few decades or so, when you are gone and my parents are gone and everyone I love is gone and I am still _here_ , wondering why I ever let any of you go? Will, you've got to let me do this. You _know_ I'll do it no matter what you say. If not Magnus, I'll find some other warlock and pay him. But I want you to agree with me," said Tessa. "And you've got to decide quickly."

"And why is that?"

"Any longer will kill the baby," said Tessa.

" _WHAT?_ Tessa, you can't mean that you are going to do this before Lea is born!"

"I _am_ , I am. I am not going to curse my own daughter with the same curse I have," said Tessa.

"Tessa, please. Can't this at least wait until Lea is born?" begged Will.

"No, Will. I am going to do this. So please, just give me your word and I can go. But remember, I'm going to do it no matter what you say."

"Fine, then. I say no." And with that, Will left the room, slamming their bedroom door behind him.

 **Please review!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey, guys! Thanks for all the support!**

CHAPTER FOUR

Tessa walked to Magnus's apartment after Will left for work yet again. Will was still angry with her and the only conversation that they had since that night was about Lea. Tessa was also angry. Why couldn't Will understand?

She knocked on the door. She had a vague sense of deja vu but she convinced herself to ignore it. Magnus finally opened the door, took one look at her, groaned, and let her in.

"What do you want now, Tess? Will hasn't come by yet so… there is no reason why you should be here. Go home and get Will to drop by." He moved to slam the door, but Tessa stuck her foot in the door.

"Look, Magnus, Will disagrees with this whole thing."

"I agree with your husband."

"Will says that we should wait until after Lea comes, but I don't think that's a good idea. I mean, why should I curse my own daughter?" said Tessa.

"It's not a curse, Tessa. I've lived with immortality for… whatever." Magnus sighed. "Tess, I need Will's agreement. The Herondales have always trusted me and I don't wish to break that trust for such a stupid thing."

"It's not stupid! It's something that is potentially ruining my relationship with Will."

"This is why Jem was a much better choice for you."

Magnus seemed to realize what he had said and turned red. He moved to say something but Tessa icened, turning cold and angry.

"I cannot believe you just said that to me." She walked to the door, unlocked it, and slammed it behind her, ignoring Magnus's cries of protest that called after her.

Tears started to fall as she began the long trek home. She couldn't believe that Magnus would say such a thing to her. Will was hers, and they belonged together. How could Magnus be in denial after all this time? She loved Jem, but Will was always her soulmate. The person she belonged with. The love of her life.

Right?

Tessa threw herself on the sofa when she got home and started to sob. She was still crying when Will came back home, and he moved to her side at once.

"Tess? What's wrong? Did something happen? Lea? You?"

"I'm fine," Tessa managed to say through her tears. "Lea is okay. I just— I just—"

Will put his hand on Tessa's back. "Tess, please tell me what's wrong."

Tessa said, "I went to see Magnus today."

Will stiffened but only said, "And?"

"He told me something horrible and I can't bear to repeat it! Not to you and not to anyone else!"

"Tess, tell me."

"I can't." She started to cry again. Will got up and put his coat back on.

"Where are you going?"

"To see Magnus and straighten this whole thing out." And Will slammed the door.

 **So that's it! Please review!**


End file.
